Wilsonworld

1990 revisited

17 years ago today, i got a phone call telling me my Grandmother had passed away. I had been home for a few days,as she had been asking for me and went to the hospital to check in on her and bring her flowers.
In her true fashion, she smiled and brought the flowers to her nose and inhaled deeply. "They smell wonderful dear...put them on the table where i can see them" I should note here that Grandma hadn't been able to smell anything for a few weeks, and her eyesight had left her a few days before.
We spent the weekend talking about life...nothing in particular..just stuff. I actually remember very little of what we talked about, other than when i left the hospital to catch my train, she hugged me tightly and told me that she was very proud of the woman i had become. "Always remember what i have taught you" she said as i left.
She died that evening, and i remember thinking to myself that i should have been there with her.

I cannot believe its been 17 years.

ESCAPE FROM THE IRON CAGE

No longer are you trapped inside your cage of iron
You are free
You can spread your wings
Wings that are tired and stiff
from the years of dormancy and confinement
Fly to the big blue sky
Glide through the air
past the sun
moon and the stars
You are frightened of this new found freedom
You have forgotten what is is like to be free
But fly
Soar
let your now nubile wings
take you higher and higher
to a place of calming light and music

Another bird soon joins your flight
you toss and turn
gliding on the currents
of the ever soothing breeze

Together you will fly and find your freedom
Together you will fly and find peace
Together you will find your Heaven
For
Together you have found each other again

Far away from your iron cage

***Laura Gertrude Griffin Insell,
January 31, 1990***

Did ya miss me? Did ya notice i was gone?

I am still here.

I took the chance to step away for a bit, trying to give me a chance to sort things out here.
We are going through some stuff here at home and suffice to say that things will be changing here ...we need to find the right solution for everyone involved. I took the time over the last two weeks to help clear my head and find some answers.

Did it help?

Probably not, but i do have a different outlook on somethings, and i have some goals for myself, however small they may be. Baby steps...great way to start off to a solid run.

We took the past weekend to travel up to see my mom, and ended up spending time with my grandmother who is in her 90th year. Bug just loves her, but Grandma Nora doesn't spent alot of time around young ones anymore, and had issues with the way the Bug eats. I was concerned, since many of my own food issues come from my Grandmother. Gramma Nora was concerned with how little Bug ate, and how slow she was at eating what was on her plate. At one point, unable to contain herself, Gramma said to Bug..."DO you want me to feed you child? Put some food on that fork and take a big bite." Bug replied...."But Gramma I don't have any teeth" (Bug has lost 3 teeth at the front of her mouth, making biting a bit of a problem). My 90 year old Grandmother, without missing a beat quickly replied.."Well child, NEITHER do I but it doesn't stop me from eating!"

It was nice going home for a visit.

Read that sentence.

NICE GOING HOME FOR A VISIT

In August of this year, i will have lived in this city for 20 years.
I have lived here over half my life.
So will someone tell me when i will stop refering to the city that my mother lives in as home?

I wasn't even returning to the place that i grew up, since my mother spends the weekends at the farm which belongs to her boyfriend. I NEVER LIVED THERE. Yet i refer to it and surrounding areas as HOME.

So a question to those of you who left the cities you grew up in and moved away for whatever reason to start your adult life.

Where is home for you?
Is it where you are now, or where you came from?

I would love to know how others feel/handle this.

I have a husband and children here. I have friends here who are closer to me than family. I went to school here, have a job here, and yet...when does this become HOME?

Any thoughts?

Just a friendly reminder that it is still DELURKING WEEK, so you still have time to click the comments button and leave a message.

It has been a busy week here, with Bug being home with Pink-eye.
I have been spending what little spare time i have, online looking into a trip for the new year.
I am going to go away for my birthday next year, and i think we have decided on Vegas.
It is going to be a no kids no spouse trip..
Just the way to spend your 40th birthday!

Tomorrow is my last day of work at the location i am presently at. I am moving back to the main store (one that is minutes away from my home), I can't wait to get back there, although it will take some time to undo the damage that has been done while the store was in someone else's hands.
With this move comes a raise, and a possible promotion (the paper work is being done on Monday, so it is ins't official yet). It isn't what i want to do with the rest of my life, but it will do for now.

This Saturday is Hockey Day in Canada.
Back to back hockey games...which means we will all stay in our jammies, and it'll be a day of eating and watching games.

Would be better if it actually looked like winter...or even FELT like it, although they say that we might see some snow this weekend (i will believe it when i see it).

It raining again.
Sure glad that i have have that ark in the back yard.....i am going to need it if the rain keeps coming in the kitchen roof the way it had been.

But the rain IS good for the flowers. The roses have started to bud. Apparently they think winter is done too. Maybe they know something we don't?

Poetry makes me feel better.

The vision of white
it teases me
taunts me
almost makes me believe that it will come
to me

But alas
it decided to go to Colorado
Apparently the scenery was nicer.

The hats and scarves sit forelorn
mittens without fingers lie in the drawer

Oh Mother nature, will you not
Remind Old Man WInter that
he was supposed to be here
months ago

Here we sit
party hostess without guests

Anyone for steak?

The BBQ is ready.

Old man Winter had better bring his shorts
Cause there is no room for him now
Lady Spring is here
with all of her buds and colours starting to show

What a sad sight

For a girl of the Great White North

Cake and friends..what isn't there to love about being another year older?

I had a great post for January the 5th.
One that i am still going to post, once it is finished.
It is the list of things i want to do in the year before i turn forty.
A year that as of the 5th, i am now in.
I turned 39 on Friday, but since work and stuff can get in the way, we didn't celebrate it until Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning, to breakfast in bed (it was actually fed to me in my office, but the thought was there), and spent the day out shopping with Bug. I came home to a house full of streamers and balloons and there were presents under the tree for ME! YEAH!!!!!!!

(as an aside, yes our tree was still up. It is part of my birthday that it only gets taken down AFTER my birthday is done...strange i know, but it is a traditition here...the tree came down today)

SO Keith cooked an incredible meal (remember that the man can only cook if it comes in an IMP) of Roast beef, garlic and parmesean roasted potatoes, with broccoli and cauliflower.

Then they led me to the living room and gave me stupid birthday things....a singing chicken for my keys that says "you are no spring chicken you know", and a birthday thingy for my head, and a sash that said "OLD" and a fire exstinguisher water pistol, and a shot glass on beads, because you know at my age i am forever losing my drink.

And there was CAKE! That he baked himself. I know he did because i could smell it when i came home, and it had his signature lopsidiness look about it. But it was good!

And did i mention there were presents?

Money and lottery tickets, and a new food processor, and a dvd collection of GONE WITH THE WIND, with all sorts of interviews and goodies on it. I also got new speakers for my laptop, so now my jazz doesn't sound as tinny when i listen.

But the best present was the one i actually didn't get.

We all know how much i have been upset over the lack of snow.
Keith and "the good sis" decided that they were going to drive to all of the hockey arenas and scoop up the snow and ice and deposit it on the front lawn, just so it looked like i had snow for my birthday.

BUt did i mention at all that it is still raining?
SO all of the snow was big mushy piles of mush, and there was no snow to be found.

But just knowing that they were going to do it...makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

To make me feel better, Bug spent all day after we got home making snowflakes.
She wrapped them up in a gift bag and gave them to me with a smile and a hug, and said this was because you really wanted this Mom!

Cake, presents, good friends and the gift of snow from my baby girl.

I am truly blessed.

Here i am with the goofy stuff..note the tiara and the flopping things on my head!

Here i am with some of the snow that i got for my birthday!

It is the best kind..no clean up involved!

Chocolate cake....is there any other kind?  Note the candles....the say Happy BirthPay!  Keith didn't notice until he was lighting them...too late at that point!

It tasted great!

Like i said, I am truly blessed, and here is to another great year....

Come on 40...I am waiting for ya!

Just call me Noah.

Yep, i think i am going to build an ark.
I am so tired of the rain.
You all know that i am a winter lover...and this is supposed to be winter.
I live in THE GREAT WHITE NORTH for pete's sake.

Could i just have a drop of the white stuff...pleeeze?

It is the 4th of January, and tomorrow they are calling for 13C.
Normally it would be -5.

Anyone want to tell me that global warming is just a myth?

If you need me, i'll be in the backyard, building an ark, and practising my backstroke.

The Five Book Mime...all the COOL kids are doin' it!

Took this from Joss's Fluffy Bunny blog..except it is january now so the blog will not be fluffy, nor will it be a bunny..but it is still Joss's blog and i thought this was fun....

DIRECTIONS
1. Take five books off your bookshelf.
2. Book #1 -- first sentence
3. Book #2 -- last sentence on page fifty
4. Book #3 -- second sentence on page one hundred
5. Book #4 -- next to the last sentence on page one hundred fifty
6. Book #5 -- final sentence of the book
7. Make the five sentences into a paragraph:

And here it is:

The morning I got it on was nice; a nice May morning. "You look great," Tuck said.  They're every known colour from deepest black to whitest white, they're various heights, but each one of them is admirably proportioned. I can't sing with you, he told them, desperate for an excuse. And then, stuffing the notebook quickly in his pocket, he gathered the tapes into his briefcase, along with the small recorder, and hurried down the long hallway and down the stairs to the street, where in front of the corner bar his car was parked.

The books i grabbed were....

1. Rage by Richard Bachman
2. The Stupidest Angel by Christopher Moore
3. Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
4. Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
5. Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice

...where TWO teeth go missing, and Martha and Debbie learn that shopping on an empty stomach is NOT a good idea....

I have a friend who shares my love of cooking and all that is food.
We often ramble on about herbs and spices, and bore our spouses with talk of what ingredients were combined to make that evenings dinners.
Our spouses call us Martha and Debbie (Stewart and Travis respectively).
On Saturday night, we got to take a trip to the grocery store.
Now for some people this is a mundane chore, but for us it is a treat, being let loose in a REAL store, with the task of planning the new years eve eats.
After planning the menu's and discussing the options, we headed out to the store, and proceeded to turn a quick trip into a 2 hour sight and smell extravagnza.
At least it was for us.
Not so much for the spouse and child who were with us.

Well not really with us, as much as held captive in the store as we checked out every cheese, pondered over fruit, and spent an unusual amount of time describing the different ways you could use melted chocolate to a complete stranger in the pretzle aisle.

See we take our food VERY SERIOUSLY.

But we had headed out on our little trip before dinner.
I had worked all day, and headed down to plan before i had eaten.
And they were still waiting on dinner in the oven when we decided we would just "pop" on over to the store and be back in time to eat.

THEY really know what they are talking about when they say DO NOT SHOP ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

We really had no idea that the over-flowing cart would ring up to that amount.
And yes, we did have a list, and i know that the smoked salmon wasn't on it, but it WAS a REALLY GOOD DEAL..and it tasted soooo good.

I don't think Martha and i will be shopping anytime soon.
Not without proper adult supervision.
(disclaimer....we did have proper adult supervision, but i am thinking that maybe a 1:1 ratio would be better for the next shopping trip)

But Martha's Cheddar & Monterey Peppercorn Fondue was INCREDIBLE!

And there was talk of several ideas for Labour Day's bash being a state fair theme....LOTS OF FOOD REQUIRED.....
Maybe if i am good all year i will get to go back to the store....

This morning, Bug let out a huge cry and came running in to the kitchen with blood dripping from her mouth. She has had 3 loose teeth f-o-r-e-v-e-r and while rough-housing with Munch this morning her two front teeth decided that they wanted to start the New year visiting the tooth fairy.

SO she has a gaping hole where her teeth should be, and her teeth are now tucked safely under her pillow.

Guess i better make sure that tooth fairy remembers to stop by, and maybe while she is here she might want to grab a bite of something.....
Maybe i should just run to the store and pick up a few things, just in case.
One can never tell with fairies you know.

Is the chocolate ready yet?

That was the number one sentence heard in Wilsonworld last night, as the Exhausted Family and the Wilson clan gathered to ring in the new year, and say goodbye to the old one as it slipped away to join the others.
I can think of no better place to be to usher in a new year, than with your family and your closest friends, good great food and the sounds of children laughing.
We ate until we could no longer move, played 4 hour long board games, and talked about what we wanted 2007 to be for us.
I am not sure what 2007 holds for me.
I am not making resolutions this year, as i have never been able to keep any of the ones in the past.
But i do know one thing, as i looked around the house last night at all of those that i hold dear,

I am WHERE i want to be, and I am there with the people that make it right.

Here's hoping that 2007 finds you in the right place with the right people for you.